Friday, December 10, 2010

Reverb10 one of those days :)

Prompt: Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how
did it play out?_

I really WANT to answer this one. Surprise :) I must however be a little vague and somewhat circumspect because this decision involved a person who was mighty unhappy about it. I care about them and don't want to cause more hurt - BUT I'm thrilled in a chilly way to share the bones of it with you.

I asked for my keys back. No. I gently demanded my keys back. This person, loved and trusted as they had been, held the keys to everything in my life. If I had a key, they had a key. We weren't the same as we had been. They had pulled away and said over and over that they needed distance. I was hurt beyond screaming grief. Yet for a long 6 months after that they had my keys. I never had any of their keys.

One day when leaving my house and locking the door I pulled the phone from my pocket, pushed the magic button to ring the phone that is no longer answered and said. "I would like you to go get a little padded envelope, put my keys in it, and mail them to me. You don't have to drive 3 hours - just send them back please."

All Unholy Howling Hell broke loose. I had known that it would. I was accused of being deceitful, (you said we'd always be friends) of being untrusting (well since *I'm* obviously a lying thieving no-good....) It went on all day. There were 17 messages like this on my phone. I refused to play. I refused to be yelled at. I refused to yell back. But I DID go away for the remainder of the day because I know this person really well. I knew that they would HAVE to bring the keys and confront me. I left a carefully thought out note on my front porch.

When my heart told me the storm was over I erased messages ~ held the phone far away to catch the tone and press delete. I didn't listen to any but the last one. "I left the keys just inside the door with your note." Yup. Waited another half hour and went back to MY home. My home that nobody can just walk in to. Locked up MY truck.

It was the wisest, hardest, most painful decision and it was absolutely necessary and perfect. I feel gentle, balanced, and proud when I remember how I handled that day.


  1. Fierce. You are. My heart leaps in sympathetic pride.

  2. Thanks Love. The doing was purely awful, but not nearly as bad as the not-doing had been.